ͻ
                  S t e l l a r f l e e t     H e r o s                    
                                    &                                      
                  T h e   P y r a m i d   o f   D u m e                    
ͼ
Ŀ
  Ok, so after you, the Great Hero, saved a world or two from the Invasion 
  of the Snatch Grabbers you thought you were into some retirement.  Sex,  
  intoxication, loud music, all that.  Yeah, right.  Phone rang.           
  Stellarfleet.  Seems They just can't wind their clock without your help. 
                                                                           
  One world where the hellborn attack succeded was a planet named Arachnis,
  also called Dume.  Big spiders live there because there is never one     
  drop of Raid on Arachnis.  The invaders from hell apparently went there  
  for the good bowling.  As you will see, the deadliest of them are pretty 
  good bowlers, preferring to knock down Stellarfleet heros instead of     
  wooden pins.  From high atop that world's great monument they rain over  
  the conquered spiders.  (If you think about that it gets pretty nasty.)  
                                                                           
  One problem now facing Stellarfleet is that in Invisible Mind-Gobblers   
  from Alpha Romeo are now in league with the devil.  Go Figger.           


Ŀ
  The Mind-Gobblers are rather dumb, trying to augment their intelligence  
  by eating other people's brains.  The worst part is, these rediculous    
  critters are your greatest assets (besides your cunning, your tremendous 
  fighting skills, and the $1.04 in your pocket).  Hopefully they can be   
  prevailed upon to give you a ride to Dume.  Otherwise the bad guys will  
  know you're coming (as if there's a chance they won't anyway, ha ha).    
                                                                           
  It seems that Lt. U. R. Fuzzybottom, your protege and replacement as     
  Stellarfleet's greatest hero, died finding out more about the invaders.  
  He found out they stink.  His last report was heavy with gagging noises  
  and references to them as animated dung heaps who would think of a bath  
  as corporal punishment and perfume as chemical warfare.  He thinks they  
  should either be exterminated or at least sited by the EPA.              
                                                                           
  Anyway <gag> it seems these abominable abdominal showmen have taken up   
  residence atop The Pyramid of Dume, that worlds' neatest monument.  They 
  don't do nuthin, just walk around boasting about their bowling scores    
  and giving the locals and all the poor slobs they've captured a hard     
  time ("raining" over people).  The Pyramid of Dume seems to be where     
  they decided to set up their teleporter to and from hell.  Convenient.   
  As long as that's there they can pretty much do what they want.  Damn.   

Ŀ
  Well (can you guess?), your job, whether you decide to accept it or not, 
  is to go to Arachnis, climb The Pyramid of Dume, and find a way to shut  
  off the Pan-Hell teleporter.  As always, should you or anyone stuXXXX,   
  eh, Brave enough to follow you, be caught or killed, well, you knew the  
  job was dangerous when they took you.  Rather sell insurance?            
                                                                           
  So hang up the phone and git over to Stellarfleet headquarters to pick   
  up your Stuff (you can't go anywhere without Stuff, you know).  We'll    
  try to get the Mind-Gobblers to give you a covert lift to Arachnis, and  
  maybe we can persuade them to leave your brain alone (we'll point out    
  how it really isn't large enough to make a meal).                        
                                                                           
  įįįįįįįįįįįįį    
                                                                           
  So what happens?  Well, when you get there you discover that the whole   
  place is overrun with bad guys.  Bleh!  But gather your goods as best    
  you can and get to the launch pad (that's launch, not lunch).  The       
  shuttle will take you up to the U.S.S. Engenderprize.  Grab a bite in    
  9-Forward, then go see Captain Querk about a redezvous with the Mind-    
  Gobblers.  They use old used Klingin ships, so be prepared for cold      
  toilet seats, and remember, don't let them lick your head.               

Ŀ
  Once the nice friendly Mind-Gobblers get you to Arachnis (and you check  
  to make sure you still have all the brains you came in with) you're on   
  your own.  OK, you were on your own right from the start, but it seems   
  to help to say that here.  Anyway, fourth level is The Creme de la Crud. 
  Many horrible things are there, and lots of fun toys around.  Get to the 
  weapons and use them any way you can.  I know you won't break the rules
  there aren't any  (as long as you try to be a little bit adult about it  
  and as least TRY to finish without those stupid Cheat codes.  Bleh!      
                                                                           
  At first glance (and perhaps the next twenty glances too) 4th level may  
  seem like a giant freeforall.  Well, ok, it is.  But I have found that   
  a cautious, systematic approach works well, as long as you remember to   
  watch your back (because something else IS!).  There's Tons o Guns, so   
  remember: The Best Defence is to BLAST 'EM FIRST!                        
                                                                           
  Oh, and getting ALL the monsters may be a little tough.  Heh heh.        
                                                                           
  įįįįįįįįįįįįį    
                                                                           
  One more thing.  Fourth level should make a real good Deathmatch.        
  Any takers?   Heh heh heh heh.....                                       

Ŀ
  ۲                                                                 
  ۲ OK, so there's more than FOUR LEVELS!  FOOLED YA!  Ha ha ha!    
  ۲                                                                 
  ۲ Alright, so I just couldn't leave wellenough alone.  Always     
  ۲ figgetting, I just got to come up with a new item every now     
  ۲ and then.  I'll probably keep adding levels till there's no     
  ۲ more room.  These are mostly experimental, to learn what        
  ۲ works in DoomII.  I'm now using DCK which works a whole lot     
  ۲ better than DEU (tip of the hat in fond rememberance).  I       
  ۲ hope I'll find an even better one soon, especially one that     
  ۲ doesn't blow up every time I think complex thoughts at it.      
  ۲                                                                 
  ۲ Anyway, more levels, more fun.  So if you get tired of this     
  ۲ there's always HMV (His Master's Voice), my DoomII-fication     
  ۲ of my terrific SF novel (great new monsters, stuff).            
  ۲                                                                 
  ۲ Y'know, you'd get the idea if I'm so smart I'd come up with     
  ۲ something better to do with my time.  Hmmmm.                    
  ۲                                                                 
  ۲                              -TG                                
  ۲                                                                 





